Category: Family
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How Fathering Shapes Life Patterns and Lasting Bonds
A Man Doesn’t Have To Be Highly Successful Financially To Be Considered A Good Father. Conversely, A Father Doesn’t Have To Be Abusive To Be Bad At Fathering. The quality of the fathering we experience has an impact on the life patterns we develop. When an adult child wants nothing to do with their father,…
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Sincere vs. Empty Apologies: Impact on Healing and Hurt
Some apologies promote healing and forgiveness. Other apologies are self-serving, insincere, empty, and promote anger, resentment, and further hurt. Empty apologies that don’t name the wrongs committed do not promote healing and forgiveness. “I’m sorry you feel bad about what I did,” ” I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” or “I’m sorry you feel that…
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Politeness Without Integrity: The Trap of Passive Aggression
Politeness is not a replacement for integrity. Would you excuse a robber for stealing your purse because he thanked you while stealing it? Passive-aggressive people say please and thank you while mistreating you. Recognizing when someone pairs polite manners with selfish or subtle aggressive behavior is essential for one’s emotional and physical self-protection in relationships.…
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Why Self-Centered Therapy Can Harm Relationships
Psychotherapy that encourages ‘me, myself, and I’ thinking is considered bad therapy. Many clients interpret seeking the fulfillment of personal goals and happiness to mean it’s acceptable to disregard the effect it will have on others. We are all part of a system. Psychotherapy is a self-focused process. Exploring feelings, wants, needs, past traumas, and…
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Forgiveness: A Personal Choice for Healing or Protection
Forgiving is a complicated process. For some, it’s a necessary step to achieve emotional healing. For others, attempting forgiveness is emotionally damaging. Whatever the degree of the abuse, neglect, or betrayal one has suffered, whether to forgive or not is a personal decision. Forgiving what has happened to you is not saying “I forgive you”…
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Effective Listening Requires Hearing Feelings and Intentions
Effective listening involves more than just hearing words being spoken. It means hearing feelings, intentions, and content. It means wanting to understand what is being said and being able to respond appropriately and accurately. Effective communication involves both talking and listening in a way that makes our thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, and opinions conveyed clearly…
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How Poor Fathering Impacts Sons’ Masculinity and Self-Esteem
Weak, uninvolved, or abusive fathering has a profoundly negative affect on a son’s perception of his masculinity, relationship to women, career identity, and self-esteem. Inadequate, insecure fathers compete with their sons instead of helping them. Inadequate fathers engage in conversations that judge, criticize, and discourage their sons. Narcissistic fathers are demanding and inflict rigid expectations.…
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Why Avoiding Conflict Harms Intimacy and Connection
Couples who avoid conflict experience impaired intimacy, build resentments, and become disconnected from each other. Conflict leads to the experience of heightened emotions, which facilitates motivation to communicate and resolve problems. Engaging honestly and passionately about feelings, wants, needs, and ideas leads to conflict resolution. At the moment, deciding to let an issue go unaddressed…
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How Fathers’ Roles Affect Marriages with Autistic Children
Having an autistic child breaks up a high percentage of marriages. Several styles of a father’s reaction to the situation are often a major cause. Fathers are equally capable of proficient parenting and advocacy; however, men disproportionately decide not to assume the lead role. There are four common roles that fathers assume that strain or…
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Understanding and Overcoming the Triggers of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can be paralyzing. Some people suffer from social anxieties due to childhood trauma, low self-esteem, or peer pressure. Social situations can trigger fears of rejection, humiliation, and stress. Shyness also causes anxiety by triggering comparison to others and fear of failure at succeeding at social expectations. Physical symptoms like shaking, sweating, becoming speechless,…