Holiday stress may feel like an unavoidable force that you have no control over. However, that is false. Setting boundaries, knowing your emotional, physical, and financial limits can result in a calmer and ultimately more enjoyable holiday season.
One of the saddest parts of the joyous holiday season is many people become so busy and so stressed that any potential for enjoyment becomes impossible. Over- commiting, over- spending, and over-focusing on the needs of others contributes to a high level of stress. Better managing holiday stress requires an understanding of how personal attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors cause the stress you feel. The solution to lowering holiday stress levels is acknowledging it is not the fault of the season, but rather it is your reaction to it.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
Being able to say “no” is a crucial aspect in reducing stress. Stress occurs when you overload yourself with commitments. Despite the promise of enjoyment, attending too many parties, excessive shopping ventures, constant visits to friends, and decorating the home increases stress. Adding these activities while trying to maintain non-holiday work and home responsibilities predicts becoming fatigued and overwhelmed. Saying “no” to preferred activities and to people you care about is hard, but is necessary in controlling stress. Feeling guilty about disappointing others or about not meeting the expectations of ourselves are deterrents from setting appropriate boundaries. For people run by the expectations of others and by being seen as “nice”, boundary setting is difficult and labeled as ” selfish”. However, knowing your limits and respecting your preferences are actually examples of ” healthy selfishness” because the goal is self-preservation, not dismissiveness towards others. Setting limits on “to do lists”, prioritizing relaxing, tending to your own needs, and letting go of a rigid, perfectionistic approach to holiday rituals helps develop healthy boundaries.
EXPLORING YOUR OWN NEEDS
Connecting to your accurate, personal beliefs and vision of what the holidays mean to you will make it easier to personalize how you manage holiday routines and rituals. Knowing what your needs, wants, and limits are assists in influencing how you manage holiday expectations of yourself and the expectations placed on you by others. Understanding what your personality style is also helps with better choice- making. The process of exploring these aspects of yourself requires taking the time to ask yourself questions that reveal your accurate feelings about the options that present themselves. The most stressed-out people during the holidays are those who are unaware of how they feel, what their limits are, and what makes them happy or unhappy. To discover truths about ourselves requires taking the time to hear our inner thoughts and feelings and to prioritize them in our decision- making process. For example, if you’re invited to a party where there will be heavy drinking, which you know will make you uncomfortable, politely decline and choose an activity you would prefer. If you know you prefer quieter, simpler holiday experiences, tell yourself “that’s ok, that’s who I am”. The result of self-knowledge and self-acceptance is reduced stress levels and an increase in enjoyable, fulfilling experiences.
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR PHYSICAL NEEDS AND FINANCIAL REALITIES
Practicing healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise patterns is an essential aspect of managing stress. Complaints like “I don’t have time because it’s the holidays” is a common excuse for practicing poor self-care during the holidays. Becoming run down contributes to becoming depressed and irritable and therefore you will be less likely to make healthy choices and set healthy boundaries. Being rested and nourished strengthens ones ability to manage stress.
The holiday season is a temptation for many people to spend extravagantly. Feeling obligated to buy specific gifts for specific people often results in overspending and debting. The holidays are also used as an excuse to indulge in unnecessary, addictive shopping. Staying reality-based about your financial situation during the holidays will avoid detrimental economic consequences. Putting limits on the number of people on your gift list, limiting credit card charging, and deciding on less costly gestures of generosity will head off post-holiday spending regrets and resentments.
THE HOLIDAYS DO NOT HAVE TO BE SYNONYMOUS WITH STRESS. WE HAVE CHOICES. BLAMING THE HOLIDAYS FOR THE BAD CHOICES WE MAKE IS A FALSE NARRATIVE.
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