Breaking Up With Someone You Love Is Painful. What Reasons Justify Doing It? Or Are There Ways Of Keeping A Love Connection By Making Compromises Or Deciding On Non- Traditional Scenarios. Romantic love is a powerful, intoxicating, exciting feeling of being deeply connected to someone physically and emotionally. Being in love makes your mind and body activated by the presence or mere thought of being with that person. When you are in love with someone, you miss them, worry about them, want to please them, and want to share as much of yourself and your life with them as possible. Why we love someone in this profoundly deep way is often unexplainable, irrational but unmistakenly real.
Love is a feeling. Feelings are said to never be wrong, they simply reflect our emotional reactions to our experiences. It’s wrong to tell someone they shouldn’t feel the way they feel. Additionally, when someone says, ” I love my partner, but I am leaving them”, it is unfair to say, ” you shouldn’t leave them if you love them”. The truth about romantic love is you can feel love for someone who isn’t compatible with you, isn’t right for you in a significant way, or who’s life situation severely restricts their availabilty. Although differences can be worked on and worked out, saving a relationship requires both people to be invested in saving it by being willing to change or make compromises. It requires communication that is honest, frequent, and mutually caring. Loving each other on it’s own isn’t enough to help a relationship survive.
There are common reasons why lovers part ways. They may have different needs or wants required for their own self-actualization and happiness. Although logistical or external factors may seem insignificant compared to being in love, they are often the reason why lovers say goodbye. Differences in religion, the position on having children, where to live, patterns of engagement with extended family, or social needs or preferences can create resentment and tension between partners. Commitments to one’s career or responsibilities and emotional ties to others may make it feel impossible to make a substantial move or change in order to stay connected in an ongoing relationship.
Many loving couples don’t want to believe that differences like these could break them apart. Most people in love try to compromise, re-evaluate their needs, and turn up the intensity of their chemistry to minimize the conflicts that differences create. The romantic ideal says, ” our love can survive anything.” However, the truth is if a compromise conflicts with someones values, dreams, or self-identity being in love will not be able to sustain the relationship. The feeling of love may survive despite differences and conflicts, but the ability to stay together may not. Under these conditions, the pain of saying good-bye to the one you love becomes a potential reality that must be faced.
When lovers break up, they go through an analytical re-evaluation of their feelings and the reasons for not staying together. Intense physical and emotional chemistry can draw people back together. New ideas can emerge about how things may need to look to successfully navigate obstacles and differences. Anything is possible if the love and connection is strong enough. Although the majority of romantic relationships lead to marriage and family, some find their way to an alternate kind of destiny.
Some lovers will never say good-bye because keeping their connection, in whatever form it takes, is worth it to them. There was a movie made many years ago called “Same Time Next Year” where two lovers who were married to other people, met every year and shared a deep emotional and physical bond. Despite their marriages, they chose to never say good- bye to each other because their love for each other was deep and real. This kind of arrangement is uncommon, but happens and shows the extremes people are capable of in the name of being in love.
Saying goodbye to someone you love hurts. Losing the sexual, romantic connection, the attention, the shared experiences, and hopes for the future is painful and sad. However, it is important to know if your long-term happiness will be diminished by staying with a person you love, you must leave. If there are compromises or alternative ways to continue some form of a loving relationship, completely losing the relationship may not have to occur. Whatever form a relationship may take, it is up to the two people involved to determine if the benefits from maintaining the experience of being in love with each other is worth the challenges involved in doing so.
Leave a Reply